When a man forces himself upon you...

I found his note from September 2011 when a supposed friend forced himself upon me after a fun house party.

i wanted to let you know that i keep replaying last night in my head.
i was acting like a jerk and i wish i could take everything back. i
wish there was something that i could say or do to make it all ok but
there isn't. i crossed a line that never should have been crossed and
you have no idea how much i regret it.
i don't want to make you feel any more awkward than you already do. i
won't bother you again this weekend. i hope you call me before you
leave but i will understand if you don't want to. don't feel pressured
to call if you don't feel comfortable with it, i know you need your
space after the other night.
i hope you have a good time tonight and i hope you know that i'm still
your friend. i'm sorry for what happened. if you can find it in
yourself to forgive me, i can promise you that nothing like that will
ever happen again.

Here was my response:

I'm glad you regret what you did, yet at the same time I wish you didn't have to regret anything and just acted as respectfully toward me as you should have.

Saying sorry is very different than showing a person how sorry you are. Your words are empty without actions to follow anything up. I don't feel you truly understand how terrible you made me feel.

I'm positive that I didn't lead you to think anything sexual was going to happen. I feel betrayed by you as I made the decision to come to Montreal after you persistently pointed it out that I needed to visit - that we had to go have fun on your turf. Your behaviour is forgivable in time, but still reprimand-able. You showed no respect for me and only thought about your needs and wants. Being drunk is not an excuse. I had a fair amount of liquor myself and still repetitively said no - with different reasons no less. I was uncomfortable about staying the night, but figured I had no where else to go at the moment and I would sort it out in the morning. And what killed it for me was you didn't seem to recollect what you did until I started to visibly appear upset.

Then I had to spend more of my money on a hotel because I sure as hell wasn't going to show up at my aunt's place - crying - about how my 'friend' couldn't take 'no' for an answer. $500 for a car and $250 for a hotel. How could I have fun after what you did? You stole my weekend. I didn't get to go to that party. There goes another $100 for tickets. Coming to Montreal was an expensive mistake.

Thankfully, it turned around and I made the most of Saturday and drove home Sunday. My pockets are quite empty, but at least I have my self-respect. Something you clearly need to work on.

You may still want to be my friend, but I can't see why. You clearly don't respect me and put your own needs before my own.

I said what I needed to say Saturday morning to make the rest of my morning with you as comfortable as possible, so I said what you wanted to hear - how everything would be fine and we would still be friends. In reality, that's not possible.

Best of luck to you.