Just when you thought you knew a person...

This morning I received a very disappointing email from a male friend I went out with Saturday night:

Good Morning
Thought about you this morning and wanted to say hi and see how your week is going. Any plans for the long weekend? I assume Buffalo will be part of those plans.

You said something that I heard, but didn't question and didn't understand later.  You said your friend currently can't come to Canada. Is that true? Passport problem?
Didn't you say he was in Afghanistan? So he can go there, but not come here? Hmmm.

Anyway, just wanted to say hi and tell you again, despite you telling me you're not attracted to me, I still had a wonderful time Sat night.
R



For the sake of privacy, lets call this person Ross.

On Saturday, Ross and I met up at a charity social event and had a fun time meeting new people, joking around and catching up. He is 20 years older than me, but we still had a lot to talk about. I told him all about this new guy I am seeing; how happy I am with him, how everything about him is amazing and we have so much fun together. And yes, I did mention that he was a Marine and yes, he doesn't yet have documentation to come to Canada yet, but he's working a lot and we'll figure that stuff out in time.

Reading Ross's email this morning pissed me off so much that I went outside for a walk. And the whole time I just bulldozed down the street fuming. I don't like how he referred to my new guy simply as a 'friend' and also I don't like what Ross's email was implying.

I wrote back curtly, stating that Marines need only provide proof of citizenship to be a recruit and that Marines do not need a passport to be deployed. I didn't add anything else.




When the night at the charity event fizzled out and I was growing bored, Ross suggested we go to an old school jazz bar (where people do the Charleston and stuff - it's a super fun place called the Reservoir Lounge.) We went and had a great time. But then Ross boldly asked if I would go back with him to his place for some fun. I thought he was joking, but quickly realized he was serious. Ew.

I reiterated that I have a love interest. Ross didn't like that reasoning. Why the crap don't guys respect that?

So I said I wasn't interested. Ross still wanted more of a reason, I don't know why. I thought he was my friend and was so disappointed he was going down this road. This was totally crossing the line. Why did I ever go out that night? I wish my friend Erin wasn't sick and that she came along too. Then he would have been distracted by her.

"Fine. I am not attracted to you." I finished my water and left. Of course, he walked me to the subway. When I got home I was relieved. I was hoping never to address that awkward moment ever again, but then his blatantly assuming email reminded me of it.



Perhaps I give people too many chances. We are human, we can be selfish sometimes and need to learn where to stop pushing to get what we want. But it appears that Ross is trying to cast doubt in my mind and there is no room in my life for people like that. Clearly he doesn't respect me or my decisions.


It's just such a downer.

The Heart of an Athlete

One of the best compliments I have ever received occurred today while I was in a pre-screening booth at The Big Save event, which is an annual Canadian blood donation initiative sponsored by professional sport teams and their backing sponsors.

A friendly lady named Claire had just finished taking my blood pressure when an enormous smile danced across her bright face as she looked at the heart monitor.

"You must be an athlete!"

I was confused. I mean, I do work out 3-4 times a week, but I wouldn't consider myself an athlete. It just seems too hardcore a label, but my heart proved otherwise.

"By your heart rate, I can tell you're athletic.You must run or spin, right?"

I do! But I didn't realize the amazing effect it had on my heart. My resting heart rate is 59 BPM which according to this chart, among others, indicates that I am an athlete (ok, so it's on the cusp of 'Athlete' and 'Excellent'. Who wouldn't love to hear that?!? My hemoglobin level also indicates how optimal my health is, as did my blood pressure, which means I am just shy of being real a super hero.

Wow. Not only am I building muscle and firming up, but my heart is fit too,  which is even more important as I get older.

A healthy heart is really where it all begins and ends. I'm so proud to know that all my hard work is paying off. We tend to forget the reason why we work out. I initially did it because I wanted to lose weight. Then I kept doing it because it was fun and I felt so great after each session. Now I realise that having a healthy heart is really more important than any of that.

I guess our priorities change as we get older. :)

Соленья!

38% of my blog readers are from Russia. So I thought to write a few things in Russian.

I decided to use Google Translate because my favourite translation site doesn't have any Slovak tongues. I wrote in English, translated to Russian and then retranslated that Russian back to English. It didn't work as smoothly as I thought!



Здравствуйте, мои русские друзья!
Добро пожаловать на мой блог. Я так рада, что вы остановили!
Hello, my Russian friends!
Welcome to my blog. I'm so glad you stopped by!



Я очень нравятся вареники. Моя бабушка, чтобы сделать их все время (Ее мама выросла в Турцию.) Существует миленькие бистро в Bloor West Village называли янтарь. Их вареники вкус так же, как бабушки!

I love dumplings. My grandmother, to make them all the time (Her mother grew up in Turkey.) There is a nice little bistro in the Bloor West Village called Amber. Their dumplings taste like my grandmother!

Um, I'm pretty sure my granny didn't taste like dumplings. I meant that the Pierogies at Amber tastes exactly like hers! I love how things translate strange!

Я люблю тебя, детка.
Скучаю по тебе так много!

Thinking and Thinking.

People say you shouldn't care what anyone thinks, which is true. One shouldn't care what anyone thinks. We should only care about what our loved ones think.

No one's going to agree with me on everything, even those I only confide in. But it's the mutual respect and love that gives me faith that my friends won't judge me. And it's so amazing! We take risks when we do this. Big risks. You never really know if what you say will remain tight-lipped or if the person you confide in will still be in your life in the coming years. But being vulnerable is good. It teaches us a lot about our strength and character. (I still battle with properly handling vulnerability on a daily basis. I believe that is perhaps why I've been a serial dater for the past five years.)

And you, dear reader, see a tiny little sparkle that is me, my methods of thinking - but the real meaty conversations happen in person with friends and family, whom I love and who love me too. (Over wine, our philosophies and debates are so intriguing!) And now, my Marine Man is part of that special crew and - well, his opinion matters too now. And of course, it's scary to be vulnerable to a new person.

It's hard to be as candid here as I was prior to him finding my blog. It's not a bad thing by any means, it just means that now I rethink and retype everything at least three times before posting! 

How is it possible for one person to simultaneously make me scared shitless and amazingly happy?

American Boy

Can't wait to see him tonight!

Last time, I brought ice wine. This time, I'm bringing these Americans the elusive Ketchup Chip.

;)

Updates and song musings

I was updating this post and listening to tunage when this song popped up on my playlist. Seemed quite perfect!

I am SO HAPPY!!!!!!

I have the bestest boyfriend ever. He is the man who beat out all the boys. I am so very lucky to be able to call him mine. XOXOXOXO
Miss you, baby.

The coffee shop lady is sooo cute

You either strike gold or coal with coffee shop ladies.

Sometimes they are too miserable in their lives to want to smile; they grunt for your  money and throw your change at you so you're scrambling for the quarters. They impact my morning more than they realise, I'm sure

But sometimes you meet a very special lady, kinda similar to Adam Sandler's LunchLady, where you have a mild affection for her.

Nancy at RichTree is a bubbly Philippino lady who is always, always, smiling. "hello, my friend, how are you today?" she asks everyone. She gives me two extra stamps on my coffee card and winks at me. And she blushes when I compliment her earrings. (Beautiful diamond studs in a yellow gold setting.)

Today, I didn't realize it, but she gave me a free coffee. I gave her $3 to pay for it, but she gave me back $1 and brought her finger up to her lips. A secret! OooOoh. me and the coffee lady have a little secret.

Hey - she just stole $2!! Haha! I guess it makes up for all the free coffee stamps she's given me :)




Always think of you when I hear this tune, handsome. ;)

Reviving the dark side

For some reason this morning, Bauhaus' Bella Lugosi sprung up on my iPod while on my way into work this AM.

It spawned a wee Gothic/80s Rock revival and I recalled when all I would wear into Journalism class were corsets, fishnets and black skirts. When I would wear big black necklaces, earrings and bracelets, pile on loads of eyeliner and dark purple lipstick to spend countless nights at Savage Garden, Northbound Leather nights at 5ive and Masquerades at the Reverb.

Savage Garden is gone. I think it's a Shwarma place now. Reverb is a Furniture shop now. And 5ive was condemned, renovated and now it's a gay bar called Fly. But man, I would dance for hours, sober mind you, to Love and Rockets, VNV Nation, Depeche Mode, Billy Idol, Ministry, The Misfits and The Sisters of Mercy.

One of my fave DM remixes:

Off one of my fave all time albums:

I'm looking forward to the drive to Buffalo this weekend!!

Decided to take a half day off (May end up taking a whole day depending on the work load this week. So far it's been as per usual daily tasks - though not without its challenges! Everyone always wants things asap and there's nothing I can do if I don't get the necessary approvals!)

I'm gonna pack a crap load of CDs, but I'll probably just end up listening to XM all the way, haha!


FYI: For some reason I'm receiving readers via FilmHill.com and I have no idea why or how. But Thanks for reading?

Stay

It's always hard to leave someone you can't bear to part from for what may be a week but seems like months. I'm a pretty open person but I when I get so emotional that I don't know what to do or say, I cry in defeat - which makes me so embarassed. Firstly because of its vulnerable state and secondly - it doesn't seem like a valid reason to shed tears (I credit the latter to growing up with a 'Don't cry about it' type household.)

Hiding tears is always easier than hiding sniffles. Even if you pretend it's 'just allergies'.

I had a couple close calls on the bus (where I nearly endured a downpour), but made it home dry. I was so happy to be home for pretty much two minutes before I was sad again. I missed my Marine Man! I fed Cooper* and just sat in my easy chair while listening to Bernard Butler's People Move On album. I had this tune on repeat a couple times:

Finally, I got dinner in me at 12am and tuned into The Civil Wars (who are beautiful, but can be quite depressing), before moving upward and onward to the Canuck section of my cd library with Wintersleep.

By this point, I was feeling more together (finally) and totally nerded out. I played with Cooper and danced around while listening to the Traveling Wilbury's. (My favourite is this one, but they really had too many hits to only love one track!)

I'm still in a daze, albeit an extremely happy one; one I intend to carry with me until I see him next to spice up hypnotizing work meetings and mundane tasks. I simply can't stop smiling! Weee!!!


*Um weird fact, Cooper actually likes Habitant pea soup with Ham. He licked my bowl clean. (Don't worry, I did give him proper cat food - he just preferred mine!)

While waiting for a Teleran Report to Run...

Yep. I run reports in Teleran. OoOooOoooo

I'm also painting my nails while I wait for this report to run. It takes forever. But once it's generated, I have a crap-ton of work to do so this slow pace won't last for long!


I've posted this tune before, but it needs to be posted again for so many different (and wonderful) reasons.

On a separate note - $40 USD is now $39.91 CAD

I only took out $40 coz I'll be visiting my Marine Man just for about a day and I don't intend on shopping (Though I have the plastic ready in case!)

I'm even wearing this theme shirt today:

 

I look much happier in it than this girl. It's by a punk clothing line called Too Fast. I picked it up at Adrenaline Tattoo on Queen Street. Yep, a tattoo place that sells clothing amongst other things. A very good reason not to be inked there, I must say. (Pardonnez-moi if I prefer not to be permanently penned by people who sell Tee's, jeans, shoes, necklaces, posters, etc. If a shop needs to sell other shit to bring money in, it's clearly not good enough a tattoo place, wherein it is not overrun with appointments to keep the registers full.)

Lights

This tune is awesome. Makes me dance around the living room with my cat. (I don't think he likes the song as much as I do...)


I had coffee with a gal pal of mine today to break up the work day. We met to specifically chat about the cutie American I had my fingers crossed for a couple posts ago. You know what? She was unusually positive.

My girl always has something negative to say about the guys I date. It's just a fact of life. If I'm going to chat about dating around her, I had to expect harsh criticism. I grew to learn that her opinion of the guy didn't matter, but that she was a very good sounding board as the Devil's Advocate. And oftentimes - she was right. (Goddamn it!)

She has a firm list of must have's for me. Yep. Its like I have my own screening queen for dates. Today though, she was so soft and sweet. I was shocked. Happy shocked of course! What changed her perception of this guy versus the others? Was something going on in her life that she wasn't opening up about?

All I know is that for the very first time in the four years that I've known her, she was not warning me to be careful or providing me with little tests to give him. Instead, she was genuinely happy that I am ecstatic about someone.

The more I let it marinade this afternoon, the more I realized what made her react the way she had. And the reason made sense.

And yeah, it's girly and romantic, so shut up.

Canadian music vs. American

Low budget

Over the top.

This makes me believe Canadians appreciate simple things. Or clearly we have smaller budgets!

I found this and had to share!!

Ok it's obviously random post night.

Folk Tunage!

I love the tune Lights Off by The Dears. People only seem to know it from Gossip Girl, but I heard it way before that. 

 

I first saw this band live about three summers ago at a summer concert on Olympic Island in Toronto. They were opening for Death Cab for Cutie. I had never heard of The Dears before and I thought they were terrible. Why? Because they are boring to watch on stage. When you don't know the music, you want to at least be visually stimulated. They just stood there, emotionless. It was a drag.

I also love this tune by The Lumineers.

As you can see, I'm a huge fan of folk music. They're not going to jump around on stage, but some movement and smiles are nice. The Dears can learn from The Lumineers!